Update to Z

I talk to Z about every day, sometimes twice a day. The conversations are very short, I'm usually in the car on the way to the baby sitter in the morning or just about to go to bed. He is doing well, but missing his family very much. I hear it in his voice, but he is being strong, because we both have to be strong.

Right now he's living in a city about 2 1/2 hours southwest of Moscow, called Kaluga. He has an apartment, and will stay there if things work out. Another option is to move closer to Moscow but to a smaller city. He calls it a 'village'. I'm not sure what to think of this, but if there is a job there to keep him busy while we try to get him back here I'm fine with it. I just picture wells and cow milking and (eek!) outhouses. He would laugh at that.

The babies are keeping me very busy, and I am perfectly happy with that. I cry a little less, and it's only bad when the babies are super fussy. Then we all get into a downward spiral that only kisses and mommy's blackberry can heal.

We have had several appointments to view the house but no offers yet. The feedback has been positive so I'm comfortable that we've got it listed correctly. I just have to be patient.

The babies have graduated to their small table for meals. Occasionally I still resort to the highchair if they aren't cooperating, but it's working so far. The big kid table!

One Down

So the first full day. Without Z. It pretty much sucked, but we made it. His flight left Philly yesterday evening. Thank God, my sister came down to stay with me and help with the kids, because I really needed it. We made some food for the week and gossiped about our other sister, but even that juicy bit still didn't make me feel better. And J, you know that it must be pretty bad when other people's unpleasantness doesn't cheer me up!
She stayed overnight and helped me get the babies ready in the morning. The kids were very well behaved and I was able to take a shower at 5:45 and get myself ready before we rescued them. The biggest reason I'm grateful she came was that the house just went on the market and my realtors were coming in the morning to take pictures and have a tour with the other realtors in the firm. At least I assume it's a firm. Club? Anyway, there was some last minute clutter to clean up before I left for work.
So here is where I'm always surprised by my emotions and when they can dissolve me just when I'm not paying attention. I cried in the car all the way to the baby sitter. This only shook me because I thought that the time I would be the most susceptible would be at home and at night (this is still true, I'm at home, it's night, there's wine, and I'm using blogger as therapy), not on my way to work, a place I thought (haha!) I would be safe. It didn't taper off so after I dropped the twins off I pulled out the big guns. Tori Amos. She may hate men but I'll take her sarcasm over Alanis' rage any day. Luckily I had pulled out Little Earthquakes earlier this week, probably subconsciously preparing.
So the day was difficult but I was relieved when I finally heard from Z after lunch. His flight into Mocow had been delayed and he ended up having to purchase a cell phone so he could call. He is fine, staying with his sister and heading out to the Kaluga region tomorrow. This is about two hours southwest of Moscow.
Another pleasant surprise was that my realtor called and said that two people were interested in seeing the house tonight. There was already someone booked for 7-8, but now two MORE people made appointments. I am hopeful that there is an offer, it would be wonderful to get the house sold quickly. So my babysitter and her father were wonderful enought to let us stay there and have some pizza. While we were there I happened to see the molars that have erupted on Alex's left lower side. He has been so FUSSY and tantrumy that I was beginning to think we had turned the corner on "sweet little boy" and were heading down "satan's minion" lane. I don't know how long this will last but at least I have a label. We got home at 8:30, just in time for a bottle, pajamas, Goodnight Moon (no tears this time!) and bed.
Not every day will be so easy, but I'll have to take them one at a time. If I learned anything from my maternity leave, it's that I MUST let people in and share what I'm going through, and let my friends help. Otherwise I'll be lost.

Really? That Long?

Wow. It really has been a long time since I updated this blog.

I've been putting it off, really. Work has been overwhelming, and life, well, life has been exhausting. We've been preparing for a pretty big upheaval in our family. For complicated reasons Z has decided, with my full support, to return to Russia.

Sometimes your idea of how your life will turn out ends up looking completely different from what you expected. I know everyone who reads this can relate to that in some way.

Anyway, Zhenya is leaving the country on September 30th. After that it's just me and the babes. Over the past few weeks I have been alternating between DENIAL and acceptance. I'll let you guess which one has been dominant.

In the course of my short (well I think so, at least) life I have had to do many hard things. I will list them here, to make me feel better.

• Joining the Army. No really. When I enlisted (1994) there was no war going on, but I had no idea how crazy that decision was until I was:
• Going Through a Gas Chamber. I nearly peed my pants waiting in line for this lovely part of basic training. Never Again. Until,
• I had to throw not one, but TWO, live grenades. Trust me. that sound, it's a lot louder than you would ever expect. And then,
• I arrived at the Defense Language Institute and saw the Cyrillic alphabet for the first time. This is Russian? And I have to LEARN it? OK, but wait:
• While stationed in Bosnia, translating a dialogue between an old woman and a bunch of Army guys. Basically her ENTIRE family had died in the war and she was all alone. She kept asking me why I wasn't married. The Army guys only wanted to know if there was any suspicious activity in the area. Which do you think she cared about more? Oh and by the way your're
• Having trouble conceiving. Maybe giving yourself shots in the abdomen will help? So you can be:
• Pregnant with Multiples! Oh what a blessing! This could lead to:
• Post Partum Depression, ahh old friend, we meet at last!

Besides the above there are many more examples about how my life has been hard, boo-hoo. And you know what? I made it through. The past is all relative, sometimes it has nothing to do with the present at all. Everything I've ever done can only prepare me for what's to come. I can only hope it has molded me into a person who can deal with the craziness, maybe not alone, but at least with a little support.

So. If you happen to live near me, and have a spare hour or two in the evenings, stop by. On or about October 1st I might be welcoming visitors who a) love the idea of watching boy/girl twins eat dinner and b)wouldn't mind watching Survivor while I read "Goodnight Moon" to Anna and Alex.

And by the way, this is not a permanent situation. Z is coming back, if I have anything to say about it. When he's coming back, is not entirely up to us (President Obabma I'm talking to YOU). So all we can do is wait, and hope it won't be too long. The babies and I will be able to visit him as often as we can.

Winding Down

We had a great week off. Trips to Amish Country ("Can I help yous with anything?") and swimming at the Y. Very relaxing.

Vacation

Danger

I try to leave my cell phone in a safe place at all times. Especially when my husband is a "lesson teacher." Here is what I hear from downstairs while I'm doing my hair one morning before work: "That's right, Anna, play with Mama's cell phone."

And here is what I discovered a week later, when looking through my pictures:

Lesson Learned? Probably not.

Sleeping

I realize I haven't posted an update, and I really haven't had a ton of time. So, here are the highlights:

• Babies have been sleeping through the night. With one exception, Anna woke up at 2 AM but we did not go to her, she was back asleep within minutes.
• Bed time has been working nicely. We put both babes in the cribs between 8:30 and 9 every night with minimal fussing. The first few nights were the hardest on Alex, but he has come around nicely. Tonight and last night we bumped up bed time to between 8 and 8:30. We'll see how this plays out, this morning Anna was up at 4:30!
• The naps went poorly last weekend. This I was not surprised at, but I stuck to it and no heiney's touched a bouncy seat once. Sunday afternoon seemed like the culmination of Anna's resentment. She didn't nap at all and cried for the entire hour and a half. No one was happy in our house (except Alex who slept through the whole ordeal)

So if anyone suggests they are going to start a sleep training schedule before the 4th of July holiday wish them LOTS of luck. Friday night was our local fireworks and it was so loud they sounded like they were being shot off over our house. Of course, no one woke up, thankfully.

Here's a video of Alex trying to do Fishy Lips. It ends a little abruptly, I had to edit out a certain Russian fellow walking into the frame with an extremely white pot belly showing. Not fun for anyone.