Notes from the Motherland

Well, we made it to Russia. Just barely. I think one of the biggest things I learned about travelling with children is to do the exact oposite of your instinct. The flights were terrible. My smiling, quiet (sometimes), shy (other times), amiable children were replaced with screaming, uncooperative, fussy toddlers. Nothing worked. Nothing. Well, hold on, one thing worked: sheer exhaustion. When they did sleep, it wasn't long enough, so they were worse off when they woke up.

The layover that I thought would be beneficial? Turns out that when you connect in Heathrow you have to go through security again! Seriously, that is FUCKING BULLSHIT. England, I will never forgive you. (Sorry to my neice who sometimes reads my blog! and her mom).

AND THEN THERE WAS THE TRAIN RIDE. Wow. Anna was in complete meltdown mode the entire ride, it was broken up by brief periods of sleep, maybe 45 minutes at the most. The ride was very long. BUT, once the night passed (we boarded the train at 8:00 PM and arrived in Saratov at 12:00 PM the next day) things turned a corner and the bad mood lifted a little.

The past few days have been nicely paced, we get up and feed the babies breakfast, then head over to Z's mother's apartment to spend the day. Today we took a ride to see family in a small village not too far from the city. We ate a nice meal, but the highlight was the Russian Banya. It's a sauna, but you can also bathe. It is seperate from the house, has a small room to change your clothes and also to feed the fire, and the main room with benches, water basins, and the birch branches for theraputic 'beatings'. Awesome.

I saw that my company closed down for the weather back home. It hasn't snowed once here, but it has been FREEZING. Tomorrow the schools here will be closed for the weather, too, but not for snow, for cold weather. -25 degrees Celcius. Too cold to convert to Fahrenheit.

Scenes from the train:

From Z's mom's kitchen:

New Home for Baby

In case you've ever wondered what a 750 km drive during the Russian Winter can do to a minivan.

Behold: Z's Worst Nightmare

P.S. Check out the license plate. So Russian.

Countdown to Russia

We had planned to go to King of Prussia today for pictures with Santa. Since the weather didn't cooperate I had to put plan B into action and headed to the Lehigh Valley Mall. I was really sad because we were meeting friends there and I was looking forward to seeing S. and her family, but it really wasn't an option, and there's no time between now and Christmas to get it done.

The trip turned out to be a good one. The roads were pretty dicey but I took my time, hoping that not many parents wanted to hit the roads for Santa pictures. I mean, really, who would be that crazy? Exactly. My intuition panned out, there was no line, I managed to wrestle the double stroller and the babes without too many problems, and I got a nice parking spot! And it turns out that just because we happen to be 45 minutes away from Philly the price for Santa pictures is about the same. But at least for $50 I didn't have to be in the picture!

We managed to get in and out, with a stop at Starbucks where the line was longer than the line for Santa, with very little stress.

I also purchased the tickets for our trip to Russia in February. Just typing that gave me a chill. It's been below (way below) freezing there for the past week or so. I may be shopping for a long parka between now and then. Our flight leaves February 5th, returning on the 21st. I'm beside myself. Since moving and settlement on the house is behind me the stress of it all is catching up to me, and I'm not looking forward to the holidays this year. No shit, I need to see my cranky Russian.

So below is the picture from our visit with Santa. Neither one was happy, but they at least quieted down, probably because mama was jumping up and down like a maniac trying to get their attention. Not bad.

Half-Way

I have one major update, the house is under contract and if everything goes well it should all be settled by December 10th. Needless to say it is a relief and overwhelming at the same time. We have a lot to do.

Alex has mastered a new trick, at least halfway...

Update to Z

I talk to Z about every day, sometimes twice a day. The conversations are very short, I'm usually in the car on the way to the baby sitter in the morning or just about to go to bed. He is doing well, but missing his family very much. I hear it in his voice, but he is being strong, because we both have to be strong.

Right now he's living in a city about 2 1/2 hours southwest of Moscow, called Kaluga. He has an apartment, and will stay there if things work out. Another option is to move closer to Moscow but to a smaller city. He calls it a 'village'. I'm not sure what to think of this, but if there is a job there to keep him busy while we try to get him back here I'm fine with it. I just picture wells and cow milking and (eek!) outhouses. He would laugh at that.

The babies are keeping me very busy, and I am perfectly happy with that. I cry a little less, and it's only bad when the babies are super fussy. Then we all get into a downward spiral that only kisses and mommy's blackberry can heal.

We have had several appointments to view the house but no offers yet. The feedback has been positive so I'm comfortable that we've got it listed correctly. I just have to be patient.

The babies have graduated to their small table for meals. Occasionally I still resort to the highchair if they aren't cooperating, but it's working so far. The big kid table!

One Down

So the first full day. Without Z. It pretty much sucked, but we made it. His flight left Philly yesterday evening. Thank God, my sister came down to stay with me and help with the kids, because I really needed it. We made some food for the week and gossiped about our other sister, but even that juicy bit still didn't make me feel better. And J, you know that it must be pretty bad when other people's unpleasantness doesn't cheer me up!
She stayed overnight and helped me get the babies ready in the morning. The kids were very well behaved and I was able to take a shower at 5:45 and get myself ready before we rescued them. The biggest reason I'm grateful she came was that the house just went on the market and my realtors were coming in the morning to take pictures and have a tour with the other realtors in the firm. At least I assume it's a firm. Club? Anyway, there was some last minute clutter to clean up before I left for work.
So here is where I'm always surprised by my emotions and when they can dissolve me just when I'm not paying attention. I cried in the car all the way to the baby sitter. This only shook me because I thought that the time I would be the most susceptible would be at home and at night (this is still true, I'm at home, it's night, there's wine, and I'm using blogger as therapy), not on my way to work, a place I thought (haha!) I would be safe. It didn't taper off so after I dropped the twins off I pulled out the big guns. Tori Amos. She may hate men but I'll take her sarcasm over Alanis' rage any day. Luckily I had pulled out Little Earthquakes earlier this week, probably subconsciously preparing.
So the day was difficult but I was relieved when I finally heard from Z after lunch. His flight into Mocow had been delayed and he ended up having to purchase a cell phone so he could call. He is fine, staying with his sister and heading out to the Kaluga region tomorrow. This is about two hours southwest of Moscow.
Another pleasant surprise was that my realtor called and said that two people were interested in seeing the house tonight. There was already someone booked for 7-8, but now two MORE people made appointments. I am hopeful that there is an offer, it would be wonderful to get the house sold quickly. So my babysitter and her father were wonderful enought to let us stay there and have some pizza. While we were there I happened to see the molars that have erupted on Alex's left lower side. He has been so FUSSY and tantrumy that I was beginning to think we had turned the corner on "sweet little boy" and were heading down "satan's minion" lane. I don't know how long this will last but at least I have a label. We got home at 8:30, just in time for a bottle, pajamas, Goodnight Moon (no tears this time!) and bed.
Not every day will be so easy, but I'll have to take them one at a time. If I learned anything from my maternity leave, it's that I MUST let people in and share what I'm going through, and let my friends help. Otherwise I'll be lost.

Really? That Long?

Wow. It really has been a long time since I updated this blog.

I've been putting it off, really. Work has been overwhelming, and life, well, life has been exhausting. We've been preparing for a pretty big upheaval in our family. For complicated reasons Z has decided, with my full support, to return to Russia.

Sometimes your idea of how your life will turn out ends up looking completely different from what you expected. I know everyone who reads this can relate to that in some way.

Anyway, Zhenya is leaving the country on September 30th. After that it's just me and the babes. Over the past few weeks I have been alternating between DENIAL and acceptance. I'll let you guess which one has been dominant.

In the course of my short (well I think so, at least) life I have had to do many hard things. I will list them here, to make me feel better.

• Joining the Army. No really. When I enlisted (1994) there was no war going on, but I had no idea how crazy that decision was until I was:
• Going Through a Gas Chamber. I nearly peed my pants waiting in line for this lovely part of basic training. Never Again. Until,
• I had to throw not one, but TWO, live grenades. Trust me. that sound, it's a lot louder than you would ever expect. And then,
• I arrived at the Defense Language Institute and saw the Cyrillic alphabet for the first time. This is Russian? And I have to LEARN it? OK, but wait:
• While stationed in Bosnia, translating a dialogue between an old woman and a bunch of Army guys. Basically her ENTIRE family had died in the war and she was all alone. She kept asking me why I wasn't married. The Army guys only wanted to know if there was any suspicious activity in the area. Which do you think she cared about more? Oh and by the way your're
• Having trouble conceiving. Maybe giving yourself shots in the abdomen will help? So you can be:
• Pregnant with Multiples! Oh what a blessing! This could lead to:
• Post Partum Depression, ahh old friend, we meet at last!

Besides the above there are many more examples about how my life has been hard, boo-hoo. And you know what? I made it through. The past is all relative, sometimes it has nothing to do with the present at all. Everything I've ever done can only prepare me for what's to come. I can only hope it has molded me into a person who can deal with the craziness, maybe not alone, but at least with a little support.

So. If you happen to live near me, and have a spare hour or two in the evenings, stop by. On or about October 1st I might be welcoming visitors who a) love the idea of watching boy/girl twins eat dinner and b)wouldn't mind watching Survivor while I read "Goodnight Moon" to Anna and Alex.

And by the way, this is not a permanent situation. Z is coming back, if I have anything to say about it. When he's coming back, is not entirely up to us (President Obabma I'm talking to YOU). So all we can do is wait, and hope it won't be too long. The babies and I will be able to visit him as often as we can.