365

One year ago today I peed on a stick and saw a positive pregnancy test for the first time in my life. Watching the liquid (yes, pee) soak up into the test window I prepared myself the same way I always did: expecting a negative. My sister told me a year before that about her sister-in-law and how her pregnancy test showed positive IMMEDIATELY and there was no question about the outcome. I never failed to recall that story for each of the six or so negative home pregnancy tests I held in my hand, squinting my eyes, thinking, well, maybe if I wait another minute it might change.

So when my test didn't immediately indicate my 'condition' I was a little hesitant when I started to notice a plus sign appearing, very faintly. It never did show up completely, so I pessimistically informed Z, "well, it could be the hcg booster I had over 10 days ago." For those of you that don't know, hcg is the hormone that can be detected in a home pregnancy test. If an hcg booster shot is not out of your system completely you can get a false positive. I was well outside the threshold, but I was not about to be burned by happiness of all things. Why was I given an hcg booster, you ask? That's a post for another day, but not today, today if for happy memories.

My emotions were all over the place. I had to fly out to Charlotte that evening with co-workers and pretend like the biggest event in my life up to now wasn't happening. Anyway, some smart ones figured it out. Could it be because I felt I had to buy more pregnancy tests and take one every morning? They were all positive, so by the time I got back and had an official blood test at the doctors I knew I was pregnant. It would be another 5 days until I found out I was carrying multiples, when my upside down emotional state went for another wild ride.
So here it is, forever immortalized in jpeg format. A day I'll never forget. If I squint just so I swear it looks like it's giving me the finger.