Tuesday, November 11, 2008


One year ago today I peed on a stick and saw a positive pregnancy test for the first time in my life. Watching the liquid (yes, pee) soak up into the test window I prepared myself the same way I always did: expecting a negative. My sister told me a year before that about her sister-in-law and how her pregnancy test showed positive IMMEDIATELY and there was no question about the outcome. I never failed to recall that story for each of the six or so negative home pregnancy tests I held in my hand, squinting my eyes, thinking, well, maybe if I wait another minute it might change.

So when my test didn't immediately indicate my 'condition' I was a little hesitant when I started to notice a plus sign appearing, very faintly. It never did show up completely, so I pessimistically informed Z, "well, it could be the hcg booster I had over 10 days ago." For those of you that don't know, hcg is the hormone that can be detected in a home pregnancy test. If an hcg booster shot is not out of your system completely you can get a false positive. I was well outside the threshold, but I was not about to be burned by happiness of all things. Why was I given an hcg booster, you ask? That's a post for another day, but not today, today if for happy memories.

My emotions were all over the place. I had to fly out to Charlotte that evening with co-workers and pretend like the biggest event in my life up to now wasn't happening. Anyway, some smart ones figured it out. Could it be because I felt I had to buy more pregnancy tests and take one every morning? They were all positive, so by the time I got back and had an official blood test at the doctors I knew I was pregnant. It would be another 5 days until I found out I was carrying multiples, when my upside down emotional state went for another wild ride.
So here it is, forever immortalized in jpeg format. A day I'll never forget. If I squint just so I swear it looks like it's giving me the finger.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

And isn't it amazing the feeling of motherhood?!!! We love that you have succeeded in your goal and we were all as excited as you were that day. CONGRATULATIONS!!! again